Mistakes are a part of life. Actually, they are not just a part of life, they are a NECESSARY part of life. We will make mistakes and we will fail in life. The sooner we accept that the better.
Human beings make mistakes. Human beings fail or they won't grow. Michael Jordan, the six-time NBA champion and arguably the greatest basketball player of all time said, “To learn to succeed, you must first learn to fail."
Too many of us can’t get past the failures in our life. We tend to focus on our losses or the mistakes we make or maybe we have an overzealous boss or spouse who won’t let us forget about our shortcomings. Often times we are our own worst critic and in our self-critical approach we get fixated on our failures or mistakes. We become paralyzed with fear of failing. Or maybe we are worried about getting fired or ending up in the doghouse.
Rather than thinking about the potential good that could come from taking a risk; applying for our dream job, starting a new career, going back to school or achieving athletic success, we become paralyzed to the point of inaction. Because we fear failure, we tend to overanalyze and avoid taking the risks necessary for a fulfilling and exhilarating life. The fear of failure leads us to living a “safe” life on the outside of our true purpose looking in.
Now don’t get me wrong, it is important that we understand how we failed or how the mistake occurred, in order to avoid it in the future. So take a moment to think back in order to understand where you may have stumbled. Was it a careless mistake from rushing or lack of planning? Those are easily avoided with a bit more energy focused on preparation and organization. Look back just long enough to see what caused the failure and use that information to start again.
The reason that the odds of divorce in the second and third marriage are even greater than the 50% divorce rate of first marriages is because people don’t look back at the mistakes they made. They blame the other person rather than accepting their own failure and learning from it.
Now it is critical to understand the cause of our failures and mistakes but the key is not to dwell on them. Time spent punishing ourselves or someone else for a failure is time wasted. If we spend too much time and energy focusing on the failure, we are likely to find ourselves repeating the same mistakes. It is the simple law of attraction. We will attract into our life those things that we think about most. So, if all you can think about are the mistakes or failures of your past, history will surely repeat itself.
The best example of this can be seen on the golf course. In high school, I played on the golf team and our home matches were played at a course that was lined with trees and out of bounds down the right side. Every time I stepped up to the first tee my eyes were drawn to the out of bounds. I bet I hit the ball out of bounds 3 out of every 5 times I played the hole. The same holds true for water and sand traps. If you focus your gaze upon them, you will tend to hit in that direction.
Similarly, have you ever noticed that when you are driving on the highway and there is a cement divider along the left side of the rode, if you stare at it, the car will veer that direction? Again, it is the law of attraction. We are drawn to those things upon which we focus. It happens in the physical world and it happens in the metaphysical world.
It is critical to understand that you are not tied to your past failures or mistakes. They are poor choices but they don't make you a bad person. More importantly the results of the past do not dictate the outcomes of your future. The key is to set your focus on the outcome you desire rather than thinking about avoiding failure.
Let’s try a little experiment. Don’t think about a pink elephant with purple polka dots. OK, so did the picture of a purple polka dotted pink elephant pop into your head? I thought I said not to think about it. The problem is our minds don’t work that way.
Instead, we need to focus on what we do want. We need to picture ourselves hitting a drive down the middle of the fairway. We need to watch the road in front of us when driving along a highway with a cement divider on one or both sides. Create a mental picture of the positive outcome, the successful conclusion, the perfect presentation or the completion of your desired degree in school. Hold this view and jump in the deep end. Take a risk for the potential growth in your personal or professional life.
So, get ready to make some mistakes and fail at some new endeavors. You will learn to be successful if you learn from your failures!
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