Look 'em in the eye

As my father before me, I have always been big on manners. It was just ingrained in me as a child and I am VERY thankful that my parents insisted on it. Now that I have two kids of my own, a 16 year old daughter and a 13 year old son, I feel it is critical that I ingrain good manners in them. "Now remember, when I introduce you to an adult, look them in the eye and shake there hand," I'd say probably in a voice not unlike my dad (which I am sure I vowed never to do).

Saying this not long ago to one of them, it made me think about how well I do at making eye contact with the people I am in contact with each day. It has never been an issue at work. As a salesman and sales manager I give 'em the old power hand shake with a confident "damn glad to meet you" look in the eye. But what about at the grocery store check out or at the toll booth. Did I do a good job making eye contact in those situations? Unfortunately, the answer was no. I did not.

I would fumble for my wallet and say, "I'm fine and you?", without ever looking up. Or I'd hand the money to the toll attendant without really engaging as I turned the radio down. Even walking through the mall, if someone made eye contact with me rather than sharing a smile, I'd often look the other way. I guess it just made me uncomfortable.

Knowing that I had failed my own test miserably, I decided to observe others for a week and see if it was just me who was an inconsiderate snob. Well, it turns out that not many people make deliberate eye contact with others in their daily routine. It really made me rethink things especially when their is so much uncertainty in the world right now. People could use a bit more eye contact and a few more smiles right now.

I am officially on a mission. When I go through the checkout lane at Safeway, I am sure to greet the checker by name and make eye contact with a smile. I am more deliberate about my interaction with people. Guess what? People respond really positively to this. Well, except maybe my kids who say, "Why did you call that woman by name, do you know her? That was kind of weird." I explained my mission and, knowing me, they nod as if to say, "You are REALLY weird."

I tell them as part of my mission I may smile and say hi to several strangers as I walk by them. I tell my kids, "If I see someone who needs a smile, I give them one of mine." They may think it's a little lame but at least they think about it. I hope you do to!