Although I believe, as I have stated in previous posts, there is tremendous merit in Joseph Addison’s quote, “The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for,” I also believe he left out one essential that is incredibly important. If you have seen my blog series "Do, Love, Hope," you realize that these essentials are about purpose in life. These three represent external purpose, for which we walk this great earth. By fulfilling them, you will certainly find some measure of happiness.
We describe ourselves with two words - human being. The "human" part tends to focus on external purpose. This external purpose is ego driven. Ego accounts for our attachment to the “stuff” of this world. It has its motivational roots in need, want and fear. It is the desires of the physical world that find fulfillment when we have “something to do, something to love and something to hope for.” We cannot and should not try to escape our humanness. God put us on this planet in human form, so he obviously wants us to fulfill our human needs.
God gave us free will and the ability to think. In his classic book Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill shares his strong belief that the ability to control our thoughts is the single most important gift bestowed upon us by our Creator. Thoughts are of this world. Thoughts are things. At the biological level, thoughts are electrical impulses of energy. This is why the law of attraction works; we focus our thought energy on what we desire in this world and through directed action we can manifest what originally started as just a thought.
When we are focused on our external purpose, we tend to be in the past or the future. If we are looking to the past, we are focused on something that happened to us, made us feel good, created a desirable outcome, hurt us, etc. If we are looking to the future, we are looking forward to what we desire in the form of financial gain, relational growth, career advancement, etc. It is our thoughts that connect us to a time other than the present moment.
So how do we direct our thoughts to connect with and discover our external purpose? The discovery phase of external purpose occurs when we focus our attention on 1) the things we are good at, and 2) the things that we enjoy or love to do. Our external purpose lives at the intersection of what we are good at and what we love to do. This may change over time as we develop, gain knowledge and experience, grow, and connect more deeply with our internal purpose.
The "being" part of human being has to do with our internal purpose. God created us as spiritual beings in order for us to connect with Him. In the process, He left a place in our hearts that only He can fill. Unless we first connect with God, the fulfillment of our external purpose can still leave us feeling empty.
The secret of being is discovering how to get to the place where we are able to stop thought. In his New York Times best seller The New World, Eckhardt Tolle says, "being is our inner purpose." Being is rooted in the present moment and in awareness. Awareness occurs in the space between our thoughts. As in meditation, when we focus on our breathing, we stop focusing on thought. It is within awareness that we connect with God. And it is in these gaps between thoughts where God speaks to us.
Thinking is an involuntary action. Much like breathing, thinking simply happens. Scientists of the mind estimate that we have anywhere from 40,000-60,000 thoughts per day! Unfortunately, the majority are negative. Like weeds that grow in a garden, they were not planted but grow anyway. And, as with external purpose, most negative thoughts tend to be focused on either the past or the future.
So how do we slow it all down and allow ourselves to just be "in the moment"? In addition, how do we suspend thinking and regenerate through connection to the higher power in the universe? The process is simpler than you may think.
First, find a quiet spot to sit with both feet on the floor and hands comfortably on the arms of a chair or on your lap. It should be a place that is comfortable enough to relax but not too comfortable to sleep. Close your eyes and focus on taking deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Do not think about anything but your breath as it goes in and out.
Focus completely on your breathing for as long as you can. Don’t force it or allow tension to creep in. Don’t get distracted by the sounds of the world around you nor think about other things you could be doing. And don’t worry if you are unable to focus on your breathing for more than a few seconds, or maybe a minute if you are "a natural." Simply allow your stomach to expand and contract as you focus completely on your breathing. For as long as possible, sit and breathe without thinking about anything. If your mind begins to wander, simply reset and bring your focus back to your breathing.
It will take practice to do this for any length of time. In fact, it may be only a minute or two the first few times you attempt this meditative practice. But in those few moments you will feel refreshed and energized. In these moments you will enjoy complete peace. With some practice, you will soon be able to apply this for a few minutes at points throughout the day, whether sitting at your office, sitting on a plane or, as in my case, at your child’s cheering practice. These short moments will make you feel as energized as if you took a two-hour nap! Most importantly, you will feel alert and connected; aware.
Awareness is God driven and "ego-less." Awareness is rooted in love. As I mentioned in an earlier blog in this series, God is love. Therefore, when we allow ourselves to connect with God, we are in the presence of pure love! Is it any wonder why those who meditate tout the effects of its practice?
So, it's my belief that there are actually four, one-syllable words that comprise the list of essentials for happiness: Do, Love, Hope and Be. There is an inner purpose as well as an outer purpose for us as human beings. We must discover both to attain the true happiness we desire. And the happiness we desire also happens to be what God intended for us when he created us as human beings.
Oh yeah, and surely the right answer is - To Be!
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