If we immerse a sponge in a basin of water and pull it out, we don't expect to see anything other than water running from it as we hold it up, right?
Now, I know you didn’t connect to this blog today to hear observations from The Master of the Obvious (we can tune in to a rerun of Seinfeld for that!). But I do have a point here besides the fact that, if you soak a sponge, it will drip whatever substance you soak it in. The main reason I've begun this post with exciting imagery "straight from the kitchen sink" is that the mind, especially that of a child, is often metaphorically referred to as a sponge.
It's a apt analogy. So, what is it that you immerse your mind in? Is it a good soak with nourishing and positive information or is it the muck of depressing and negative data? Do you tune in to educational programming most often or do you opt for reality T.V? Do you enjoy positive internet sessions on a social networking site or is it porn instead? Do you listen to music that is meaningful and uplifting or do you listen to the hard-edged noise born of pain and anger? Is it calm family dinners around the table or munching numbly in front of the 6 o’clock news? Quality books and magazines or National Enquirer? Are you someone who talks about positive changes you hope to make in your life or do you gossip and tear down others in an attempt to fit into social groups?
Let’s be honest. Nearly all of us are somewhat naturally drawn (if only out of curiosity) to the pool of negative influences out there. This is perhaps most evident when we're at the grocery store. While in the checkout line we're barraged by negative media: The Globe, US Weekly, The National Enquirer, to name a few, with their scandal-laden covers that tempt us to pick them up and get all the juicy details. And maybe we don’t pick it up but oftentimes we do read it, right? You may not be one of those who succumbs and actually purchases a copy. Then again, maybe you are one of the 8.4 million - 5.6 million women and 2.8 million men - who does! In fact, 7.1 million of this group have more than a high school education and an average household income of over $44,000, yet still buy the Enquirer, according to the 2007 MRI Doublebase.
As parents, we are keenly aware of outside influences. It's clear to us that other kids will exert various types and degrees of influence upon our own children. Some kids who are high energy and always "trouble" can get our kids hyped up and out of control. Whereas kids who are well mannered and well adjusted tend to have a positive impact on our kids. So, why is this dynamic so easy for us to see in our kids, yet so difficult for us to see in our own lives?
We all know the old saying, "you are what you eat." In reality, we are what we think about most. And that is largely determined by who we spend time with, the media we indulge in, the radio stations we listen to, etc. And you can be sure those around us will be impacted by what we think about most. We soak it all up, both actively and passively, and it all naturally flows from us again like the runoff from that full sponge.
Best-selling author and noted marketing guru, Seth Godin, refers to people who influence others as sneezers. In his vernacular, they are the people who discover something they are passionate about and spread it to those around them. We all want to share what we are passionate about with at least some select people in our lives. Some people share their passion for books or music. Some share their passion for a hobby like scrapbooking. Some people share their passion for partying, and so on.
Unfortunately, very few people allow positive influence to flow to those around them. And even fewer people work to lift up those around them. But in our desire to make ourselves feel better about our shortcomings, we will quickly leak our "sludgy" thinking upon our friends and neighbors, thus dragging them down when we are in the throes of making bad choices. Once again, "enquiring minds" share their sludge.
Most of us want to be positive role models for our kids. The problem is we want them to do what we say and not what we do. We tend to spend our time and money on the trappings of a material world and we wonder why our kids are spoiled and expect the world to do them a favor. We don’t hesitate to speak to our spouse in a harsh tone with little or no respect but then we wonder why our kids talk to us and other adults in tones I haven’t heard since my days in the locker room.
My daughter is sixteen. She is officially boy crazy. And when she gets around her boy-crazy friends they tend to get overtired and stressed. Whether she stays up all night at a sleepover or has a marathon text session on her cell phone, she'll often have a meltdown. She can be so overbearing and negative at those times. Now, sure, maybe that is just her being a teenager but I do believe that part of it is the "runoff" of her friends' influence on her and I am sure her friends’ parents could say the same. And this same girl who can get stirred into a frenzy becomes as docile as a lamb when she lies in bed and listens to the positive, encouraging music on K-Love, a local radio station.
Truth is, it takes a concerted effort to fill yourself with positive energy and positive input. Like exercising to keep the body fit, we must exercise the mind to keep it fit as well. We need to fill it with good thoughts. We need to spend time with positive people. We need to listen to positive music and read uplifting books and writings. We need to be a positive influence for those around us and let our love flow to those who are less fortunate.
This truth goes back almost 2000 years. In Philipians 4:8, the apostle Paul says, “…whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.” It was true back then and it is true today.
So soak it all in! Soak in the goodness that you find around you. Let it saturate you so that when it flows out to those around you, you infuse them with the positive energy that will warm this world.
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