Why is it that we tend to wait until we are pushed to the verge of loss in order to feel grateful for what we have? So often, it is when we are humbled by some setback in our lives or in the lives of those close to us that the fear of loss becomes real enough for us to be thankful. In a world where we are barraged with advertising that continually promises what might be, we rarely live in the moment of what is.
Not long ago, a great friend of mine sent me an email explaining how a close-family-friend’s wife had just passed away after a battle with cancer. She was just 38 years old and had three young children. The husband and kids were obviously devastated. She died way too soon and so many beautiful plans as a family were cut short.
This same friend of mine had been let go by his employer not long before this event. He felt betrayed by the company for which he had worked for seven years and his ego had been bruised in the process. He had four young kids, a mortgage, two car payments and he was the sole breadwinner in the household. Feeling rushed to restore his income, he accepted a role that, in the eyes of the world, was considered a step back from what he had been doing.
As these events unfolded, however, he had the opportunity to spend more evenings at home with his wife and kids. Alhough he was professionally underemployed, he was extremely content to have more time to spend with his family. He realized that his kids were growing up quickly and now he could slow down and be a bigger part of their lives. The loss of his job and the death of his close friend’s wife created the fear of loss and, as a result, he felt an overwhelming sense of gratefulness. Through the loss and pain - both his own and his friend's - he began to realize how lucky he was. He went on to say how sad it was that it took events like this to truly appreciate what he had. Prior to these events, the struggles of a working life spent on the road made the tension at home unbearable at times. His wife was overwhelmed with the daily duties of keeping a household and they fought because they each felt underappreciated. Now, a step down on the corporate ladder afforded him a view that made him feel lucky.
Recently, I spent some time with a man I befriended a few years back named Tom. Tom spent twelve years in prison for some bad decisions he had made as a young man. Whenever I see Tom now and I ask him how he is doing, his response is always the same, “Every day that I wake up a free man is a great day for me.” Tom has been homeless or living in his sister’s garage during the six years since he got out of prison. He does whatever odd jobs he can find and collects bottles & cans to make enough to survive. Many would look at Tom’s existence and wonder what he has to live for. Not Tom. Every day that he has his freedom is a day to be cherished.
Tom grew up without much parental love and without any guidance. He was a street kid who had to fight for his survival. Drinking and fighting was the only way of life he knew and he was emotionally hurting and full of anger as a result. He didn’t appreciate much in his life and he didn’t have any respect for authority. He really didn’t feel like he had much, and what he had, he had to fight for. His parents were poor examples of authority and in his mind the police were simply there to keep him from doing what he wanted. It took a few poor decisions, a few run-ins with the law and a twelve-year stint in prison to help Tom realize how much he actually did have.
Tom lives with the pain of feeling like an outcast and the anger that accompanies it. He still has a difficult time controlling his temper but he knows that if he makes one wrong move and gets the third strike, he will go to prison for 25 years. In order to change his behavior and hold off emotional outbursts, Tom has to remind himself each day that he has something to be grateful for - he has his freedom.
If we spend just five minutes each day thinking about the things for which we are grateful, then we can fight off the some of the negativity that the day flings our way. Gratefulness can be an effective weapon against cynicism, negativity, bitterness and feelings of inadequacy. It can help us expend our precious energy focusing on what we have, not what we lack. There are two ways to feel like you have more in your life: get more or require less. Maybe we would learn to require less if we were more thankful for what we have now. In this way, we will not have to wait until we are faced with loss to appreciate all the amazing things we have today.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Of Sponges and Men (and Women!)...
If we immerse a sponge in a basin of water and pull it out, we don't expect to see anything other than water running from it as we hold it up, right?
Now, I know you didn’t connect to this blog today to hear observations from The Master of the Obvious (we can tune in to a rerun of Seinfeld for that!). But I do have a point here besides the fact that, if you soak a sponge, it will drip whatever substance you soak it in. The main reason I've begun this post with exciting imagery "straight from the kitchen sink" is that the mind, especially that of a child, is often metaphorically referred to as a sponge.
It's a apt analogy. So, what is it that you immerse your mind in? Is it a good soak with nourishing and positive information or is it the muck of depressing and negative data? Do you tune in to educational programming most often or do you opt for reality T.V? Do you enjoy positive internet sessions on a social networking site or is it porn instead? Do you listen to music that is meaningful and uplifting or do you listen to the hard-edged noise born of pain and anger? Is it calm family dinners around the table or munching numbly in front of the 6 o’clock news? Quality books and magazines or National Enquirer? Are you someone who talks about positive changes you hope to make in your life or do you gossip and tear down others in an attempt to fit into social groups?
Let’s be honest. Nearly all of us are somewhat naturally drawn (if only out of curiosity) to the pool of negative influences out there. This is perhaps most evident when we're at the grocery store. While in the checkout line we're barraged by negative media: The Globe, US Weekly, The National Enquirer, to name a few, with their scandal-laden covers that tempt us to pick them up and get all the juicy details. And maybe we don’t pick it up but oftentimes we do read it, right? You may not be one of those who succumbs and actually purchases a copy. Then again, maybe you are one of the 8.4 million - 5.6 million women and 2.8 million men - who does! In fact, 7.1 million of this group have more than a high school education and an average household income of over $44,000, yet still buy the Enquirer, according to the 2007 MRI Doublebase.
As parents, we are keenly aware of outside influences. It's clear to us that other kids will exert various types and degrees of influence upon our own children. Some kids who are high energy and always "trouble" can get our kids hyped up and out of control. Whereas kids who are well mannered and well adjusted tend to have a positive impact on our kids. So, why is this dynamic so easy for us to see in our kids, yet so difficult for us to see in our own lives?
We all know the old saying, "you are what you eat." In reality, we are what we think about most. And that is largely determined by who we spend time with, the media we indulge in, the radio stations we listen to, etc. And you can be sure those around us will be impacted by what we think about most. We soak it all up, both actively and passively, and it all naturally flows from us again like the runoff from that full sponge.
Best-selling author and noted marketing guru, Seth Godin, refers to people who influence others as sneezers. In his vernacular, they are the people who discover something they are passionate about and spread it to those around them. We all want to share what we are passionate about with at least some select people in our lives. Some people share their passion for books or music. Some share their passion for a hobby like scrapbooking. Some people share their passion for partying, and so on.
Unfortunately, very few people allow positive influence to flow to those around them. And even fewer people work to lift up those around them. But in our desire to make ourselves feel better about our shortcomings, we will quickly leak our "sludgy" thinking upon our friends and neighbors, thus dragging them down when we are in the throes of making bad choices. Once again, "enquiring minds" share their sludge.
Most of us want to be positive role models for our kids. The problem is we want them to do what we say and not what we do. We tend to spend our time and money on the trappings of a material world and we wonder why our kids are spoiled and expect the world to do them a favor. We don’t hesitate to speak to our spouse in a harsh tone with little or no respect but then we wonder why our kids talk to us and other adults in tones I haven’t heard since my days in the locker room.
My daughter is sixteen. She is officially boy crazy. And when she gets around her boy-crazy friends they tend to get overtired and stressed. Whether she stays up all night at a sleepover or has a marathon text session on her cell phone, she'll often have a meltdown. She can be so overbearing and negative at those times. Now, sure, maybe that is just her being a teenager but I do believe that part of it is the "runoff" of her friends' influence on her and I am sure her friends’ parents could say the same. And this same girl who can get stirred into a frenzy becomes as docile as a lamb when she lies in bed and listens to the positive, encouraging music on K-Love, a local radio station.
Truth is, it takes a concerted effort to fill yourself with positive energy and positive input. Like exercising to keep the body fit, we must exercise the mind to keep it fit as well. We need to fill it with good thoughts. We need to spend time with positive people. We need to listen to positive music and read uplifting books and writings. We need to be a positive influence for those around us and let our love flow to those who are less fortunate.
This truth goes back almost 2000 years. In Philipians 4:8, the apostle Paul says, “…whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.” It was true back then and it is true today.
So soak it all in! Soak in the goodness that you find around you. Let it saturate you so that when it flows out to those around you, you infuse them with the positive energy that will warm this world.
Now, I know you didn’t connect to this blog today to hear observations from The Master of the Obvious (we can tune in to a rerun of Seinfeld for that!). But I do have a point here besides the fact that, if you soak a sponge, it will drip whatever substance you soak it in. The main reason I've begun this post with exciting imagery "straight from the kitchen sink" is that the mind, especially that of a child, is often metaphorically referred to as a sponge.
It's a apt analogy. So, what is it that you immerse your mind in? Is it a good soak with nourishing and positive information or is it the muck of depressing and negative data? Do you tune in to educational programming most often or do you opt for reality T.V? Do you enjoy positive internet sessions on a social networking site or is it porn instead? Do you listen to music that is meaningful and uplifting or do you listen to the hard-edged noise born of pain and anger? Is it calm family dinners around the table or munching numbly in front of the 6 o’clock news? Quality books and magazines or National Enquirer? Are you someone who talks about positive changes you hope to make in your life or do you gossip and tear down others in an attempt to fit into social groups?
Let’s be honest. Nearly all of us are somewhat naturally drawn (if only out of curiosity) to the pool of negative influences out there. This is perhaps most evident when we're at the grocery store. While in the checkout line we're barraged by negative media: The Globe, US Weekly, The National Enquirer, to name a few, with their scandal-laden covers that tempt us to pick them up and get all the juicy details. And maybe we don’t pick it up but oftentimes we do read it, right? You may not be one of those who succumbs and actually purchases a copy. Then again, maybe you are one of the 8.4 million - 5.6 million women and 2.8 million men - who does! In fact, 7.1 million of this group have more than a high school education and an average household income of over $44,000, yet still buy the Enquirer, according to the 2007 MRI Doublebase.
As parents, we are keenly aware of outside influences. It's clear to us that other kids will exert various types and degrees of influence upon our own children. Some kids who are high energy and always "trouble" can get our kids hyped up and out of control. Whereas kids who are well mannered and well adjusted tend to have a positive impact on our kids. So, why is this dynamic so easy for us to see in our kids, yet so difficult for us to see in our own lives?
We all know the old saying, "you are what you eat." In reality, we are what we think about most. And that is largely determined by who we spend time with, the media we indulge in, the radio stations we listen to, etc. And you can be sure those around us will be impacted by what we think about most. We soak it all up, both actively and passively, and it all naturally flows from us again like the runoff from that full sponge.
Best-selling author and noted marketing guru, Seth Godin, refers to people who influence others as sneezers. In his vernacular, they are the people who discover something they are passionate about and spread it to those around them. We all want to share what we are passionate about with at least some select people in our lives. Some people share their passion for books or music. Some share their passion for a hobby like scrapbooking. Some people share their passion for partying, and so on.
Unfortunately, very few people allow positive influence to flow to those around them. And even fewer people work to lift up those around them. But in our desire to make ourselves feel better about our shortcomings, we will quickly leak our "sludgy" thinking upon our friends and neighbors, thus dragging them down when we are in the throes of making bad choices. Once again, "enquiring minds" share their sludge.
Most of us want to be positive role models for our kids. The problem is we want them to do what we say and not what we do. We tend to spend our time and money on the trappings of a material world and we wonder why our kids are spoiled and expect the world to do them a favor. We don’t hesitate to speak to our spouse in a harsh tone with little or no respect but then we wonder why our kids talk to us and other adults in tones I haven’t heard since my days in the locker room.
My daughter is sixteen. She is officially boy crazy. And when she gets around her boy-crazy friends they tend to get overtired and stressed. Whether she stays up all night at a sleepover or has a marathon text session on her cell phone, she'll often have a meltdown. She can be so overbearing and negative at those times. Now, sure, maybe that is just her being a teenager but I do believe that part of it is the "runoff" of her friends' influence on her and I am sure her friends’ parents could say the same. And this same girl who can get stirred into a frenzy becomes as docile as a lamb when she lies in bed and listens to the positive, encouraging music on K-Love, a local radio station.
Truth is, it takes a concerted effort to fill yourself with positive energy and positive input. Like exercising to keep the body fit, we must exercise the mind to keep it fit as well. We need to fill it with good thoughts. We need to spend time with positive people. We need to listen to positive music and read uplifting books and writings. We need to be a positive influence for those around us and let our love flow to those who are less fortunate.
This truth goes back almost 2000 years. In Philipians 4:8, the apostle Paul says, “…whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.” It was true back then and it is true today.
So soak it all in! Soak in the goodness that you find around you. Let it saturate you so that when it flows out to those around you, you infuse them with the positive energy that will warm this world.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
"To Be or Not to Be" - That Is Still the Question...
Although I believe, as I have stated in previous posts, there is tremendous merit in Joseph Addison’s quote, “The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for,” I also believe he left out one essential that is incredibly important. If you have seen my blog series "Do, Love, Hope," you realize that these essentials are about purpose in life. These three represent external purpose, for which we walk this great earth. By fulfilling them, you will certainly find some measure of happiness.
We describe ourselves with two words - human being. The "human" part tends to focus on external purpose. This external purpose is ego driven. Ego accounts for our attachment to the “stuff” of this world. It has its motivational roots in need, want and fear. It is the desires of the physical world that find fulfillment when we have “something to do, something to love and something to hope for.” We cannot and should not try to escape our humanness. God put us on this planet in human form, so he obviously wants us to fulfill our human needs.
God gave us free will and the ability to think. In his classic book Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill shares his strong belief that the ability to control our thoughts is the single most important gift bestowed upon us by our Creator. Thoughts are of this world. Thoughts are things. At the biological level, thoughts are electrical impulses of energy. This is why the law of attraction works; we focus our thought energy on what we desire in this world and through directed action we can manifest what originally started as just a thought.
When we are focused on our external purpose, we tend to be in the past or the future. If we are looking to the past, we are focused on something that happened to us, made us feel good, created a desirable outcome, hurt us, etc. If we are looking to the future, we are looking forward to what we desire in the form of financial gain, relational growth, career advancement, etc. It is our thoughts that connect us to a time other than the present moment.
So how do we direct our thoughts to connect with and discover our external purpose? The discovery phase of external purpose occurs when we focus our attention on 1) the things we are good at, and 2) the things that we enjoy or love to do. Our external purpose lives at the intersection of what we are good at and what we love to do. This may change over time as we develop, gain knowledge and experience, grow, and connect more deeply with our internal purpose.
The "being" part of human being has to do with our internal purpose. God created us as spiritual beings in order for us to connect with Him. In the process, He left a place in our hearts that only He can fill. Unless we first connect with God, the fulfillment of our external purpose can still leave us feeling empty.
The secret of being is discovering how to get to the place where we are able to stop thought. In his New York Times best seller The New World, Eckhardt Tolle says, "being is our inner purpose." Being is rooted in the present moment and in awareness. Awareness occurs in the space between our thoughts. As in meditation, when we focus on our breathing, we stop focusing on thought. It is within awareness that we connect with God. And it is in these gaps between thoughts where God speaks to us.
Thinking is an involuntary action. Much like breathing, thinking simply happens. Scientists of the mind estimate that we have anywhere from 40,000-60,000 thoughts per day! Unfortunately, the majority are negative. Like weeds that grow in a garden, they were not planted but grow anyway. And, as with external purpose, most negative thoughts tend to be focused on either the past or the future.
So how do we slow it all down and allow ourselves to just be "in the moment"? In addition, how do we suspend thinking and regenerate through connection to the higher power in the universe? The process is simpler than you may think.
First, find a quiet spot to sit with both feet on the floor and hands comfortably on the arms of a chair or on your lap. It should be a place that is comfortable enough to relax but not too comfortable to sleep. Close your eyes and focus on taking deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Do not think about anything but your breath as it goes in and out.
Focus completely on your breathing for as long as you can. Don’t force it or allow tension to creep in. Don’t get distracted by the sounds of the world around you nor think about other things you could be doing. And don’t worry if you are unable to focus on your breathing for more than a few seconds, or maybe a minute if you are "a natural." Simply allow your stomach to expand and contract as you focus completely on your breathing. For as long as possible, sit and breathe without thinking about anything. If your mind begins to wander, simply reset and bring your focus back to your breathing.
It will take practice to do this for any length of time. In fact, it may be only a minute or two the first few times you attempt this meditative practice. But in those few moments you will feel refreshed and energized. In these moments you will enjoy complete peace. With some practice, you will soon be able to apply this for a few minutes at points throughout the day, whether sitting at your office, sitting on a plane or, as in my case, at your child’s cheering practice. These short moments will make you feel as energized as if you took a two-hour nap! Most importantly, you will feel alert and connected; aware.
Awareness is God driven and "ego-less." Awareness is rooted in love. As I mentioned in an earlier blog in this series, God is love. Therefore, when we allow ourselves to connect with God, we are in the presence of pure love! Is it any wonder why those who meditate tout the effects of its practice?
So, it's my belief that there are actually four, one-syllable words that comprise the list of essentials for happiness: Do, Love, Hope and Be. There is an inner purpose as well as an outer purpose for us as human beings. We must discover both to attain the true happiness we desire. And the happiness we desire also happens to be what God intended for us when he created us as human beings.
Oh yeah, and surely the right answer is - To Be!
We describe ourselves with two words - human being. The "human" part tends to focus on external purpose. This external purpose is ego driven. Ego accounts for our attachment to the “stuff” of this world. It has its motivational roots in need, want and fear. It is the desires of the physical world that find fulfillment when we have “something to do, something to love and something to hope for.” We cannot and should not try to escape our humanness. God put us on this planet in human form, so he obviously wants us to fulfill our human needs.
God gave us free will and the ability to think. In his classic book Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill shares his strong belief that the ability to control our thoughts is the single most important gift bestowed upon us by our Creator. Thoughts are of this world. Thoughts are things. At the biological level, thoughts are electrical impulses of energy. This is why the law of attraction works; we focus our thought energy on what we desire in this world and through directed action we can manifest what originally started as just a thought.
When we are focused on our external purpose, we tend to be in the past or the future. If we are looking to the past, we are focused on something that happened to us, made us feel good, created a desirable outcome, hurt us, etc. If we are looking to the future, we are looking forward to what we desire in the form of financial gain, relational growth, career advancement, etc. It is our thoughts that connect us to a time other than the present moment.
So how do we direct our thoughts to connect with and discover our external purpose? The discovery phase of external purpose occurs when we focus our attention on 1) the things we are good at, and 2) the things that we enjoy or love to do. Our external purpose lives at the intersection of what we are good at and what we love to do. This may change over time as we develop, gain knowledge and experience, grow, and connect more deeply with our internal purpose.
The "being" part of human being has to do with our internal purpose. God created us as spiritual beings in order for us to connect with Him. In the process, He left a place in our hearts that only He can fill. Unless we first connect with God, the fulfillment of our external purpose can still leave us feeling empty.
The secret of being is discovering how to get to the place where we are able to stop thought. In his New York Times best seller The New World, Eckhardt Tolle says, "being is our inner purpose." Being is rooted in the present moment and in awareness. Awareness occurs in the space between our thoughts. As in meditation, when we focus on our breathing, we stop focusing on thought. It is within awareness that we connect with God. And it is in these gaps between thoughts where God speaks to us.
Thinking is an involuntary action. Much like breathing, thinking simply happens. Scientists of the mind estimate that we have anywhere from 40,000-60,000 thoughts per day! Unfortunately, the majority are negative. Like weeds that grow in a garden, they were not planted but grow anyway. And, as with external purpose, most negative thoughts tend to be focused on either the past or the future.
So how do we slow it all down and allow ourselves to just be "in the moment"? In addition, how do we suspend thinking and regenerate through connection to the higher power in the universe? The process is simpler than you may think.
First, find a quiet spot to sit with both feet on the floor and hands comfortably on the arms of a chair or on your lap. It should be a place that is comfortable enough to relax but not too comfortable to sleep. Close your eyes and focus on taking deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Do not think about anything but your breath as it goes in and out.
Focus completely on your breathing for as long as you can. Don’t force it or allow tension to creep in. Don’t get distracted by the sounds of the world around you nor think about other things you could be doing. And don’t worry if you are unable to focus on your breathing for more than a few seconds, or maybe a minute if you are "a natural." Simply allow your stomach to expand and contract as you focus completely on your breathing. For as long as possible, sit and breathe without thinking about anything. If your mind begins to wander, simply reset and bring your focus back to your breathing.
It will take practice to do this for any length of time. In fact, it may be only a minute or two the first few times you attempt this meditative practice. But in those few moments you will feel refreshed and energized. In these moments you will enjoy complete peace. With some practice, you will soon be able to apply this for a few minutes at points throughout the day, whether sitting at your office, sitting on a plane or, as in my case, at your child’s cheering practice. These short moments will make you feel as energized as if you took a two-hour nap! Most importantly, you will feel alert and connected; aware.
Awareness is God driven and "ego-less." Awareness is rooted in love. As I mentioned in an earlier blog in this series, God is love. Therefore, when we allow ourselves to connect with God, we are in the presence of pure love! Is it any wonder why those who meditate tout the effects of its practice?
So, it's my belief that there are actually four, one-syllable words that comprise the list of essentials for happiness: Do, Love, Hope and Be. There is an inner purpose as well as an outer purpose for us as human beings. We must discover both to attain the true happiness we desire. And the happiness we desire also happens to be what God intended for us when he created us as human beings.
Oh yeah, and surely the right answer is - To Be!
Friday, August 7, 2009
Do…Love…Hope…part 4
Joseph Addison shared his simple secret for happiness when he said, “The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for.”
According to Wikipedia: "Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best."
“I hope I do well on the test today; I hope to lose 10 pounds on this new diet; I hope I get this new job; I hope I win the lottery!” So often we act as if hope itself might somehow help us accomplish a dream or desire. The reality is, however, that hope is a belief and a feeling. It is not a strategy.
Hope keeps the fire burning inside so we don’t give up on our dreams, but it doesn’t get us closer to fulfilling them. Don’t get me wrong - something to hope for is as essential to happiness as something to do and something to love. We need hope to keep us motivated to take action. Once we give up hope, the chance for success at any endeavor shrivels and dies.
Hope is absolutely necessary for happiness. Hope will keep your spirits up and keep depression at bay. Hope keeps us afloat during good times and not-so-good times. Hope is the very thing that allows us to get past our failures. Hope is what allows us to look at our mistakes in order to learn from them and not give up. Hope is what pushed Thomas Edison to try 10,000 times until he met with success!
Hope cannot live on its own, though. God gives us hope to keep us emotionally "in the game." He wants us to know there is always the time and the means to overcome our past failures. He gives us hope so that we will be encouraged to take action. The feeling of hope must be accompanied by directed action in order to realize our dreams. Dreams and desires will die without hope. God-given hope will languish without action.
For some people, hope is a lot like buying a lottery ticket. They shell out their $5, put the tickets in their pocket and hope to see their six numbers on ping pong balls that Saturday night. Although they have taken some action by buying a few tickets (with the odds of winning slightly better than walking on the moon), it still creates the emotion of hope. State lotteries literally bank on the fact that people have hope. They thrive on our hope but, much like Las Vegas, many people put their money down but very few win.
Remember, if all you care to do is hold the thought of a better life in your head, and the feeling of it loosely in your heart, the chances of bringing your desire to life are little better than the chances that come with buying a Lotto ticket - namely, Slim and his brother, None (oh yeah, and Slim has just left the building...)!
It's admittedly fun to fantasize about positive outcomes and "what ifs." We all enjoy the feeling that comes with believing some great windfall could come to pass. But a better plan is to put your trust in God, hope for the life he has planned for you and put a plan in place to get there. In this way, you can enjoy the feelings of great hope and know that as you work toward achieving the life of your dreams, the journey will be rewarding and the destination fulfilling!
According to Wikipedia: "Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best."
“I hope I do well on the test today; I hope to lose 10 pounds on this new diet; I hope I get this new job; I hope I win the lottery!” So often we act as if hope itself might somehow help us accomplish a dream or desire. The reality is, however, that hope is a belief and a feeling. It is not a strategy.
Hope keeps the fire burning inside so we don’t give up on our dreams, but it doesn’t get us closer to fulfilling them. Don’t get me wrong - something to hope for is as essential to happiness as something to do and something to love. We need hope to keep us motivated to take action. Once we give up hope, the chance for success at any endeavor shrivels and dies.
Hope is absolutely necessary for happiness. Hope will keep your spirits up and keep depression at bay. Hope keeps us afloat during good times and not-so-good times. Hope is the very thing that allows us to get past our failures. Hope is what allows us to look at our mistakes in order to learn from them and not give up. Hope is what pushed Thomas Edison to try 10,000 times until he met with success!
Hope cannot live on its own, though. God gives us hope to keep us emotionally "in the game." He wants us to know there is always the time and the means to overcome our past failures. He gives us hope so that we will be encouraged to take action. The feeling of hope must be accompanied by directed action in order to realize our dreams. Dreams and desires will die without hope. God-given hope will languish without action.
For some people, hope is a lot like buying a lottery ticket. They shell out their $5, put the tickets in their pocket and hope to see their six numbers on ping pong balls that Saturday night. Although they have taken some action by buying a few tickets (with the odds of winning slightly better than walking on the moon), it still creates the emotion of hope. State lotteries literally bank on the fact that people have hope. They thrive on our hope but, much like Las Vegas, many people put their money down but very few win.
Remember, if all you care to do is hold the thought of a better life in your head, and the feeling of it loosely in your heart, the chances of bringing your desire to life are little better than the chances that come with buying a Lotto ticket - namely, Slim and his brother, None (oh yeah, and Slim has just left the building...)!
It's admittedly fun to fantasize about positive outcomes and "what ifs." We all enjoy the feeling that comes with believing some great windfall could come to pass. But a better plan is to put your trust in God, hope for the life he has planned for you and put a plan in place to get there. In this way, you can enjoy the feelings of great hope and know that as you work toward achieving the life of your dreams, the journey will be rewarding and the destination fulfilling!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Do Love Hope....part 3
In 1965, when asked to come up with a song containing a simple message to be understood by all nationalities, John Lennon wrote "All You Need Is Love." It was so simple in lyric but understood by everyone around the world with its incredibly poignant message.
Love is also one of the central themes in the Bible, the best-selling book of all time. In 1 John 4:8, the author writes, “Whoever does not know love, does not know God, because God is love.”
In 1 Corinthians 13:4-13, Paul asserts the importance of love and ranks it as the most important of the emotions in life. The verse reads: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
Countless movies, songs, books and poetry have been written on the topic of love, giving credence to Paul’s assertion that love is the greatest of emotions. The assertion that the Creator of the Universe not only embodies love but actually is love should stop us all in dead in our tracks.
The importance of experiencing love cannot be understated. Regardless of the recipient of our love - whether it be our God, spouse, friend, pet, child or self - there must be an object of our love. Hopefully, as you think about potential recipients for your love, you realize this very important fact: In order for there to be love in the world, there must first be a giver of love.
Many people focus their attention on getting love. Everyone wants to be loved to some degree. Whether by those we care about, people at work or by God, we are always waiting for love. There is an expectation inherent in waiting for love from our spouse, our co-workers or our God. This waiting presupposes that not as much effort will be put forth on the part of the recipient, rather that the love will shower over them and that such a sensation will create the fulfilling emotion of love.
In order to truly experience love in its fullness, we must be active in its pursuit. But it is not necessary for someone to love us in order to feel love. In other words, love given is love experienced. If we actively show love to someone, we experience the emotion of love.
Focus not on the love you get, rather put greater effort into the love you give. Love given without expectation always fulfills. But the minute we place an expectation on the amount or quality of affection we get in return, we compromise the gift and set ourselves up to feel sadness, disappointment or even anger. This is where love can go wrong.
Increase the amount and quality of the love you give, then you will realize the gift of increased love in your heart. Joseph Addison recognized this when he said, “The grand essentials to happiness in this life are: something to do, something to love and something to hope for.” His essential for happiness regarding love was focused on giving love, not on getting it. For he knew that if a person found something to actively love, they would experience perfect love.
So we must stop waiting for love and simply start loving!
Love is also one of the central themes in the Bible, the best-selling book of all time. In 1 John 4:8, the author writes, “Whoever does not know love, does not know God, because God is love.”
In 1 Corinthians 13:4-13, Paul asserts the importance of love and ranks it as the most important of the emotions in life. The verse reads: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
Countless movies, songs, books and poetry have been written on the topic of love, giving credence to Paul’s assertion that love is the greatest of emotions. The assertion that the Creator of the Universe not only embodies love but actually is love should stop us all in dead in our tracks.
The importance of experiencing love cannot be understated. Regardless of the recipient of our love - whether it be our God, spouse, friend, pet, child or self - there must be an object of our love. Hopefully, as you think about potential recipients for your love, you realize this very important fact: In order for there to be love in the world, there must first be a giver of love.
Many people focus their attention on getting love. Everyone wants to be loved to some degree. Whether by those we care about, people at work or by God, we are always waiting for love. There is an expectation inherent in waiting for love from our spouse, our co-workers or our God. This waiting presupposes that not as much effort will be put forth on the part of the recipient, rather that the love will shower over them and that such a sensation will create the fulfilling emotion of love.
In order to truly experience love in its fullness, we must be active in its pursuit. But it is not necessary for someone to love us in order to feel love. In other words, love given is love experienced. If we actively show love to someone, we experience the emotion of love.
Focus not on the love you get, rather put greater effort into the love you give. Love given without expectation always fulfills. But the minute we place an expectation on the amount or quality of affection we get in return, we compromise the gift and set ourselves up to feel sadness, disappointment or even anger. This is where love can go wrong.
Increase the amount and quality of the love you give, then you will realize the gift of increased love in your heart. Joseph Addison recognized this when he said, “The grand essentials to happiness in this life are: something to do, something to love and something to hope for.” His essential for happiness regarding love was focused on giving love, not on getting it. For he knew that if a person found something to actively love, they would experience perfect love.
So we must stop waiting for love and simply start loving!
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