Time to Savor

Delectable Time
So precious, so fleeting
More so with each passing year
In youth, bitten off with little thought
Full then, yet having eaten so little
The banquet still covers the table

Appetizer
Impetuous young adults
We devour - chew, swallow
But seldom savor
Until such time as
The menu diminishes
Waiter!

Main course
Career, Close Friends, Family
Self Improvement
A bland entree for some -
Career, at all cost
Self, neglecting others
Stomach growls
Each bite as though their last
Never enough to satisfy

Finally
Reflection, our winsome chef,
Re-serves our perishable feast
The aroma so delightful
A memory, a photo, a tale
Of days gone by
Dessert, mmm, yes

Ah, to dine again...

Don't Paint Your Future With the Brush of the Past

Have you ever tried painting with a previously used paintbrush? Though the brush may have been cleaned, it is still stiff and the bristles tend to bunch together. The paint does not go on as smoothly as it does when applied with a new paintbrush. The same is true when we try to approach a new day with the dried residue of yesterday’s mistakes still on the paintbrush of our minds. A new paint job will always look best when the surface is scraped clean and a new paintbrush is used to apply the paint.

We are only doomed to repeat our past failures when we carry them with us into our future. Even when we are thinking about how we want to avoid a past failure, it becomes inevitable to repeat them because our attention is on our failure. It is fine to spend a short time looking at where things went awry in order learn and adjust, but too often we tend to dwell on the past. The mistake dominates our awareness and controls our thought energy, even though our thought is focused on NOT repeating it. Though our conscious mind is working hard to paint a new picture, much of our future is manifest in our subconscious mind and, unfortunately, the subconscious does not process negatives.

Regardless of what we may want, we move in the directions of our focus. To illustrate, let’s say you step up to the first tee on a golf course and there is a lake along the right-hand side of the hole. Now, of course you want to hit the ball in the fairway but as you set up to hit, your eyes are drawn to the water and not the fairway. Likewise, the hazards in life always stand out as well. If you fix your stare on the water and tell yourself, “I am not going to hit it in the water,” the subconscious only recognizes “I am going to hit it in the water.” This, coupled with the fact that you have just sent the image of the water to your subconscious, creates the conditions to send your ball sailing into the water (pun intended).

Ok, so maybe you have never driven a golf ball, but if you have driven on the interstate then you have experienced a similar phenomenon. As you are driving, something on the shoulder draws your attention or maybe there is construction work and they have a cement barricade wall set up along the shoulder. If you allow yourself to focus on the car pulled over on the shoulder or on the temporary barricade for any length of time, the car tends to drift that way. You quickly realize that in order to drive straight ahead you need to focus your eyes straight ahead.

So what do we do to avoid focusing on yesterday’s gaffs? We have to wake up each day and clean the slate! Scrape off the old paint from yesterday so you can repaint the future based on the outcome you desire. We have to set our gaze daily in the direction we want to go, not where we don’t want to go or, worse yet, on the wrong places we have already been. The message you send to your subconscious must be focused on what you desire and not on what you wish to avoid. This is not to say that today will not have adversity, lakes or cement walls with which to contend. It just means our focus will not be on them.

It is not about having a perfectly clean slate today. We can’t be a virgin again or erase our past. But we can purify, cleanse and renew our thinking in order to see and create the optimal conditions for a new future. The important thing is to have a clean and fresh perspective. We must maintain a sense of hope that we can live today with new, healthy choices.

Former President Bill Clinton hit the nail on the head in a recent interview for Esquire magazine when he said, “I think what breaks people is not adversity; what breaks people is thinking that tomorrow is going to be just like yesterday.”

I think it is fair to say that we all want tomorrow to be better than today. No one wants to repeat yesterday’s mistakes. It is our nature as humans to seek improvement. It is only when we give into feelings of hopelessness that we sink into depression or despair and create the conditions in our mind that allow history to repeat itself again and again and again.

Here are a few tips to help you paint the picture of the outcome you desire:
1) Close your eyes and visualize the outcome you desire. Picture yourself achieving your desire in the movie in your mind. As kids, we all have the creative ability to visualize something with our eyes closed. The fact that we can dream should be all the evidence we need to know that we CAN visualize. Don't worry if you have trouble seeing a clear vision right away. It just takes practice. Most people stop visualizing after the first or second grade and are just out of practice.

2) Go back to a time when you achieved a positive result and remember what it “felt” like to succeed. Let this feeling sink in so that you can emotionalize as you visualize.

3) Write a short affirmation (or two) to confirm your ability to succeed. Make it in the present tense as if it is happening now. Say it over and over as you visualize your desired outcome, i.e. “I am confident and composed as I answer each interview question in a clear and concise manner.” Or “I am making a positive connection with the audience as I deliver my presentation with confidence and clarity.”

You can practice these steps anywhere and in a very short time. It is no secret that moments before Tiger Woods made the 15 foot putt to go into the playoff at the 2008 US Open, he had already made it in his mind’s eye. He expected it to go in. The crowd did too, so the energy and conditions were in his favor to sink the putt. Even Rocco Mediate, his challenger was caught by the TV camera saying, “He’s gonna make it.” Tiger did make the putt and went on to win the US Open in a playoff. Tiger has made a lot of key shots at key moments but he made every one of them first in his mind.

Remember, you don’t have to be Tiger Woods to envision the future you desire and you don’t have to be an artist to make today a masterpiece!

Shhh...Just Listen

Though we love to share our thoughts as we speak,
It is listening that is truly divine.
So open your ears and open your heart,
With empathy, truth you will find.


Try shifting your focus to what is being said,
From the thoughts of what you will say.
After all, with two ears and only one mouth,
It makes sense to double their play.


Listening is a skill, and with practice will grow,
To serve you better in time.
Like a catcher in baseball, be prepared for each pitch,
Over-listening is never a crime.


When listening, be sure you are active not passive,
With every new message unfurled.
When you open your mouth, you close your mind
To ideas, that can change your world.

Reach For the Stars

Making comparisons is human nature. I advise against comparing ourselves to others, however, since it is more useful to focus on comparing ourselves with what we feel is our own potential. Having said that, I recognize that we are competitive beings in a society fueled by competition. Whether in sports, at work, or at the big department store sale, we always seem to be pitted against the person in the "lane" next to us.

Speaking of which, have you ever approached a stoplight and realized you needed to be in the other lane? You notice the long line of cars next to you and try to beat the lead car and get over, but that driver then decides you are somehow challenging him and speeds up! Or on the highway, where a person is hanging in the left lane, under the speed limit - after a few choice words, you decide to pass on the right. As you do so, the driver begins to accelerate like it has suddenly become a NASCAR event!

Although we often have this competitive spirit, sometimes we use comparisons to justify why we aren’t achieving our potential. A close friend was sharing a recent conversation he had with his son who was midway through his freshman year of college. His son’s grades at the semester did not reflect his ability. When my friend asked him why he was not achieving his potential, his son responded by saying that he was doing better than any of his friends. My friend immediately challenged his son on the measuring stick he was using to determine his potential.

I am sure this hits home with many of us who have kids, but does it also ring true for us? Do we tend to compare ourselves to those who make us look good, instead of looking at our true potential? Or, rather, do we look at where God wants us to be and then set the bar accordingly?

For me, the Bible is good reading to start the day, but I also use it as a mirror. As I read about the life of Jesus, Moses, Joseph, David, Peter and Paul, it makes me reflect on my own life and see how I measure up based on what God expects. With one exception, God did not choose perfect people to lead. He also knows we aren’t perfect. But as I continue to read, it becomes apparent He wanted people to reach beyond their current circumstances to achieve their full potential. Consider - Moses had a stutter, Peter had anger issues, Paul was self righteous, David committed adultery. Hardly perfection but, nonetheless, all were key players in God’s overall plan.

It is tempting and easy to choose a measuring stick that shows us standing tall. It is much better to stretch and reach for things that are a bit out of our comfort zone. As much as we like the easy road or take the road where the path has been cleared, we were made to reach and stretch.

When we use a standard that's based a bit less on pride or complacency, we raise the bar to a level that is just a little uncomfortable for us to reach. Our greatest accomplishments and most fulfilling achievements are those that require us to stretch beyond what we can comfortably do. It is admittedly enjoyable and easier to relax and allow the world to flow over us. However, the times when we pushed ourselves beyond our previous physical or mental limits to a new height are the times that we remember and savor. It is not the moments watching our favorite TV show or completing the crossword puzzle that give our lives purpose. Though these moments are pleasurable and necessary in the balance of life, they are not the moments that define us and give real meaning to our existence.

Leo Burnett, who founded one of the top advertising agencies in the world in Chicago in 1935, knew about extending one's limits when he developed his original logo.
He created a hand reaching for the stars to show that we can all reach for something great in life. Leo Burnett’s reason for the logo is summed up in his quote, “If you reach for the stars you may not get one but you won’t get a handful of mud either.” I love this image of the hand reaching. It is simple and profound. It makes us think of reaching for something new and exciting; reaching for a new level. We often settle for what we have or stay where we are for fear that if we reach for something new, we may not attain it.

I know that I have settled so many times in my life because I was afraid to get out of my comfort zone. I was afraid of what people would think if I failed to achieve my goal. It is hard to let go of what you have in order to reach for something new. We set the bar at a level that is comfortable and then stay at that level to avoid the potential pain of not achieving a new goal.

Recently, my sister was chosen to lead a new group in her company. She was quite comfortable where she was and had been doing an outstanding job. As good bosses will do, her boss saw an opportunity to improve a new store by bringing her there to manage. Her initial feeling was one of discomfort and unease. She was doing a great job and was achieving the level of her already-respectable measuring stick, but now her boss decided to raise the bar.

As with my friend confronting his son, or my sister’s boss, or God with His "overachievers," there are times when others raise the bar for us. They see potential in us that we just don’t see. It feels like being thrown into the deep end of a pool when you've just learned to swim. We have those thoughts of, “I’m not sure if I can do this” or “I was just getting comfortable where I was.”

We all need to stretch and it is this place of discomfort that allows us to reach a new height. As with growing pains in a child, there can be pain associated with stretching to achieve your potential. But God designed us for growth. He gave us the capacity for growth in different areas of our lives - physical, mental and spiritual. It doesn’t mean that we have to stretch ourselves in every area of our lives all the time. It does mean, however, that if you aren’t trying to reach a new level in some area of your life, you will feel an emptiness or hollowness.

Many of us feel this hollowness and we try to fill it in our own ways. Maybe we spend too much time in front of the television or we reach for alcohol or we give in to extra-marital affairs. These tend to momentarily deaden our unfulfilled feeling or temporarily fill our hollowness but afterward we realize the hole is still there. Like eating a bag of chips - they satisfy our taste buds with the first few bites, but they don’t sustain us. Each additional chip is a little less satisfying than the last and, in the end, they lack the nutrition that our bodies need. So we remain unsatisfied in some respect even when the bag is empty.

Raising the bar to achieve a new level has so many benefits besides just the exhileration of going into unchartered waters. In fact, this reaching and striving may be the very "fountain of youth" that so many have sought over the years. It is true that, as we age, our physical capabilities decline. But there is always a new goal to attempt, no matter our age. New goals and new bars over which to jump can give us a youthful energy that we can't find anywhere else.

There are areas in our lives that require us to stretch, regardless of our age or position. Whether at the beginning of our endeavors or in the stride of our career. Whether we are on the downside of a career or in retirement, we need to stretch ourselves for growth. We have to find an area of our lives to raise the bar. Growth can and must happen from the day we are born until we take our last breath. Without this striving, life loses its zest and meaning. So wherever you are in life, raise the bar! You may not clear it every time. But if you take a risk, maybe you will do Leo Burnett one better - Reach for the stars. Even if you don't get them, you just may come down with the moon!

Simply Stated

There is a profound depth in all things simple…

A sunset,
The color white,
A three word message…