Life is an Open Book Test

Did you ever show up to class the day of a test feeling unprepared? The minute you entered the classroom your palms began to sweat; you just knew the test was not going to go well. You sat in your seat all fidgety, just dreading the next hour. Then all of the sudden the bell rings and the teacher proclaims, "Okay, class, this will be an open book exam."

The heavenly choir bursts forth in your head, "Hal-le-lu-ja!" Maybe not a modern-day miracle but certainly an indescribable feeling of relief. The idea of an open-book exam breathed new life into you. Close your eyes and try to remember the relief. It felt as though the weight of the world just lifted...

Well, you can have that same feeling today about life. In this age of information where specialized websites and Wikipedia are just a few mouse clicks away, where every church has a liberal stock of bibles to give away, where you can buy a book in a matter of seconds on your ipad or kindle, the answers can all be yours! It's really just that simple.

The problem for many of us is that the answers are rarely (if ever) on TV or in a bar or in the driver's seat of the newest BMW. These are the comfortable places where we often look and hope to discover the answers or, in many cases, dream of being discovered.

Go back again to the open-book test in 10th-grade Biology or whatever it was. It really wasn't all that easy. You still had to make the effort to go through the book and find the answers. It took time and, if you hadn't read the chapters, it was tough to get the information quickly enought to finish. The entire class still didn't get an A. The reality is that even when you took an open-book test you had to be diligent to make the grade.

So, too, with life. The answers are all there and they are simpler than ever to find, whether on the subject of personal finance, relationships, diet, exercise, meditation - you name it, there are endless sources by which to educate ourselves. Can you muster the discipline to diligently search for the answers and put them into practice?

I'd like to leave you with a summation which can easily double as a meditation:

As with so many things in life, the answer is simple but not easy...

The "Quick Fix" - An Oxymoron?

Americans spent in excess of $150 billion last year on quick-fix, self-improvement products to lose weight, build muscles, buy/sell real estate, fix a golf swing, etc.* And many of the same people will spend $150 billion again this year on something new that promises the same quick results in the same areas that failed before.

We are a quick-fix society - gimme a pill, a 90-day workout, a 15-day weight-loss program to change my life. I want it and I want it NOW!

So now for the big question...

If many of the same people are spending money on new and "better" quick-fix products, were the others really a fix?

Take fad diets, for example. In a 2007 UCLA study, it was found that 2/3 of the people who lost 5-10 pounds in 6 months on any of the various diets on the market had gained it back, plus some, within 4 years. The study concluded that those who do the quick-fix diets would be better off not dieting at all, as their eventual weight would be about the same and they would avoid the physical dangers of "yo-yoing" over this period of time.

What about the real estate gurus who tell you about no-money-down approaches that can have you "kicking back" on your own yacht in no time? The reality is that the majority of people who buy these particular programs never even buy a property! They just end up out the cost of the program. That's quick money for the seller of the program, but nada for the person who dreams of changing their financial future via the quick fix.

So, if those who try the quick-fix approach in life are further behind in the long run, it's really only a temporary solution at best. It may elicit quick results in the case of weight loss or muscle building but it isn't a long-term fix if the results don't last.

It's been said that nothing good comes easily. Wouldn't everyone be better off if they took the long-term view and focused on a lifestyle of healthy eating, exercise plans for life, no-gimmick golf lessons or career pursuits in areas of passion that would make "moving up the ladder" somewhat enjoyable? Yes, these approaches all take time, but if you don't have the time to do it right in the first place, what makes you think you will have the time to do it over?

So the next time you are watching t.v. (especially late-night t.v!), lured in by that seductive, quick-fix infomercial, remember - most of them don't give you lasting results. Take the time to develop your own plan and approach. Consider your challenge thoughtfully and develop a long-term plan by doing a little research online or at the library, or by asking someone who is currently living the change you desire.

(*according to tapebeat.com, over $150 billion of consumer products in the U.S. are sold through infomercials.)

Living Without Labels

What age were you when you concluded you were intelligent...or not, creative or not, coordinated or not? Were these labels you put on yourself or were they bestowed upon you by others?

Labels are just words. But once we accept labels, we emotionalize them and, sadly, often end up living them as our reality. Words can be a great tool as well. When used wisely, they enable us to communicate effectively by converting the abstract to something more tangible, which is necessary if we want to interact and make sense of the physical world around us. They allow us to develop relationships and to entertain or enlighten one another. They are the common intellectual currency of all societies.

Words can also be a weapon. When used in anger or without thought for the consequence of their interpretation - as in the use of labels to describe someone - they can be as destructive as any knife or gun. A teacher who labels a child as a "C student," a classmate that labels a peer as "stupid" or a parent that labels a child as "a slow learner" can cut to the core with these words and contribute to creating a fixed mindset that traps a child into living the label.

We all understand the potentially destructive nature of negative labels, but what about the potential destructive nature of positive labels? Seems odd, but they can be just as limiting. Say, for example, a young boy is labeled "the kid with amazing athletic ability; a natural." As a young child he may be able to overpower other children due to a size, strength or coordination advantage. But what if the child begins to believe the label and feels that his God-given talent doesn't require work for improvement? I mean, he is superior to all the other kids so why work at it? But then the other children begin to grow and catch up in terms of size, strength and athleticism. All of the sudden, "the natural" is just average.



In her book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, world-renowned Stanford professor Carol Dweck describes a person with a "fixed mindset" as someone who feels they were endowed with a set level of intellectual ability, creative ability, physical ability, etc. And no amount of effort will get them to a more advanced place. Once the mindset is fixed, the person will have a tendency to only try those things that they feel are within the realm of their set abilities. Unfortunately, this creates the condition in which a person tends to have success in the limited realm in which they try, but generally underachieve based on their God-given potential.

Those with a "growth mindset," on the other hand, understand that with hard work and applied effort, they can improve and grow in any area of life. In fact, Dweck explains how recent scientific research shows that the brain is more like a muscle - it changes and gets stronger with use. As a person tackles new and tough challenges, the neurons fire and gain strength for future application.

Our muscles and our ability to be creative are no different. We always have the ability to grow and improve if we believe in ourselves, apply ourselves to challenging situations and work hard at our chosen endeavors. The growth is even more dramatic in areas where we bring passion to fuel the hard work and focus.




So let's work to live our lives without labels. Let's not label others or label ourselves. And if we see someone else labeling, let's step in and remove it. Why not live each moment in a growth mindset where every new challenge is an opportunity to expand our horizons and move a bit closer to fulfilling the potential built into us at birth.